Because I can
by deanielove
Summary: Okay, so this is pretty crack-ish, but hey look smut! Oncie has a crush on his father, but one night Greedler appears and things just get weird...
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so this was inspired by my friend who told me to write a story based off of her story, I knew nothing about it except it had something to do with The Onceler and his father. This is a parody. I don't particularly like OncelerxFather, but if you do, then good for you! :D**

**I'm sorry and enjoy.**

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There were two thins I noticed about my father, the first was that he was my father . . . The second was that he was so kawaii desu! 3

. . .

"Man I have got to stop reading those twilight books!" said the Oncler, as he rose out of bed and started to wake up from the most wonderfulest dream in the world. As he got out of bed, he began to do his morning exercises that he learned from those miscellaneous animes (you know the kinds where they actually do morning stretches to start the day and such!). After his morning stretches he went to go and take a shower, as he made his way into the bathroom he turned on the water and his shower radio, which was playing pocket full of sunshine.

"AHH!" cried the Onceler " this is my favorite song desu!" and he started to twirl around naked in his shower while belting out the lyrics. When the song finished the Onceler heard clapping coming from the opening of the door. The Onceler got startled by this and turned down his radio to make sure he heard if it was real, as he peaked through the shower curtain he saw his father leaning against the door, clapping his hands in a slow manor and with a smirk spread across his face. This made the Onceler's kokoro go doki doki, and he turned a bright shade of red.

"Some mighty fine singing you were doing there son."

"Oh . . . Um . . . Thanks" the Oncler stared at his dad wondering if he would ever leave, for goodness sake he was gonna waste all the hot water before he left.

"Well don't mind me son, please continue what you were doing

"But you're right here, go away first then I will."

"Why are you so embarrassed of singing in front of me?" asked his dad, as he made his way across the bathroom to where the shower stood.

"You have the voice of an angel." The Onceler turned an even brighter shade of red.

"Well too bad, because I was just about to get out, so I suggest you leave before I get out."

"But I've already seen all your little fixings and things, there's no need for me to leave."

"LOOK!" yelled the Onceler, "can you just leave the bathroom please?". His father then looked startled.

"Fine" replied his dad as he put his hands in front of him and backing out of the bathroom slowly.

"Ugh" moaned Onceler, his father could be such a pain, but he couldn't help but love him more and more as each day passed. The way he made you feel was just sugoi and he couldn't do anything about it.

. . .

After the Oncler put on his usual outfit, striped pants, a fedora, and vest shirt type thing, he made his way down the stairs and smelled the orgasmic smell of pancakes. When he finally made it to the kitchen, he was a strange figure standing in front of the stove. As he made his way over to the strange person, "it" turned around and added another pancake to the towering stack. This mysterious person was dressed in what seemed to be a 1950's flapper girl dress with silver sparkled everywhere, there was also a blonde wig with pink swirls adorning it's head. He could see that there were obvious breasts on this person, but one was completely lopsided and was near her stomach.

"Oncie!" yelled this strange woman, which sounded an awful lot like his dad. The woman put down the towering pancakes and took the Onceler into a smothering hug full of lopsided boob.

"Um, dad?" inquired Onceler, the figure started smiling and shaking her head up and down in a quick manor.

"Yup! You like?" said his father in an ecstatic voice and did a nice little super model pose. Onceler didn't really know what to do with this kind of situation so he just decided to stare off and think of himself of what the fuck was going on

'My father is dressed like a whore, but this is somewhat enticing . . .' When he returned back from his stupor, his father was just staring at him and chewing away at a pancake.

"Watcha thinkin' about desu~?" asked his father.

"N-Nothing I was just about to excuse myself, I'm not feeling too well"

"Oh you poor thing," said the dad as he ran to where his son was sitting and put his palm to his forehead.

"Are you sick? You don't feel hot." This touch made his heart race father than it ever had before.

Doki. Doki.

"I just feel a bit nauseous, I think I'm gonna go to my room.

.

"Well . . . Okay then . . ." and with that Onceler raced up to his bedroom and landed face first into his mattress. He had never been in this kind of situation with his father, and he wasn't really sure what was going to happen next.


	2. Chapter 2

**Yay! chapter 2 is up! i'm so excited! ok now on to write the rest of this dang story! Enjoy! :D**

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Chapter 2

After a couple hours of just lying on his back and staring at the ceiling of his room, he decided he might as well brush his teeth and put on some pjs. He went to his closet and pulled out his favorite jammies, super pink sugoi sparkly magical girl desu matching pj set. After this he went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth. When he lifted his head from spitting in the sink, he saw his reflection, it looked normal as usual, but the person in the mirror was wearing green pjs. Unfortunately, Onceler had been in so many weird situations already that he just ignored it and went to his bed. After about an hour of restless sleeping, the onceler finally woke up, he had the strangest feeling that someone was looking at him. As he got out of bed, he noticed something out of the corner of his eye.

"That's impossible" whispered onceler as he went to his closet mirror, but what he saw scared the living soul of a Japanese school girl out of him. In the mirror he saw himself, but his reflection was once again dressed in green jammies. As this registered in his head, he started to freak out little by little.

"Yahhhhh" he screamed in a reverse fangasm manor.

"Who are you? What's going on?"

"Hehe well it took you long enough to notice." Replied the mysterious green figure.

"Who the fuck are you!" commanded Onceler.

"Sigh, I'm your . . . Twin."

"My twin?"

"Yes that's right. The name's Greedler, pleasure to make your acquaintance, Onceler."

"How do you know my name?"

"Well I AM your twin remember numbskull." Onceler started to laugh hysterically and mumbled to himself.

"This is a dream. This _is_ a dream. This is a dream. This can't be real. Just wake up and it'll all be better" During this mantra, Greedler magically got out of the mirror and started to slap Onceler across the face several times.

"This isn't a fucking dream retard!" And with that Onceler finally snapped out of it, he pushed Greedler into the mirror where he came out of and stumbled backwards.

" Ow, what the fuck was that for?" inquired Greedler as he started rubbing his head.

"No this isn't real, it can't be!" exclaimed Greedler just decided to cut the crap, he got up went over to Onceler, and pinned him onto his bed.

"I'll prove to you that this is 100% real" whispered Greedler as he pulled Onceler in for a deep kiss. Doki. Doki.

This was a new feeling for Onceler, he had never been kissed before, and wanted to save this moment for someone special, like his father. He never knew this one kiss could have so many emotion and feeling, he started noticing how hot the roomw as, and how wet the tongue snaking down his throat was. As soon as Greedler pulled away, Onceler gave him a loud smack across the face.

"Ow, what the fuck, stop hitting me!" shouted Greedler as he rubbed his cheek.

"That was my first fucking kiss dammit!" Onceler replied with tears in his eyes. Greedler rolled his eyes at this and got up.

"Well that's too bad isn't it? You should feel honored."

"Honored! That kiss was supposed to be saved for my . . ." Onceler paused mid sentence not sure what to say next, was he really saving his first kiss for his father? What would his twin say if he found out? So many questions started running through his head.

"Hello earth to Onceler." Said Greedler as he waved his green clad hand in front of Onceler's face, but Onceler wouldn't come out of his trance. So Greedler came up with a devious plan. He picked up Onceler and threw him in his pool ( it was something he learned from watching clannad, you know with that one starfish chick?") When Onceler felt the touch of the cool water he immediately came out of his thoughts.

"What the fuck was that for?" demanded Onceler as he thrashed around in the pool trying to figure out how he got in the pool in the first place. Greedler couldn't help but laugh at this, the looks of shock on Onceler's face was priceless.

" Well I had to wake you up somehow", answered Greedler "and I don't think that you wanted me to kiss you again."

"Well you didn't have to throw me in the pool!"

"Oh yeah which reminds me, you never finished what you were saying earlier, who were you saving your first kiss for?" Greedler said completely ignoring whatever the heck Onceler was ranting about. As Onceler got out of the pool he replied, "I already told you who"

" No you didn't, you trailed off"

"Well I'm pretty sure I told you so can we get off the subject?"

"Look, just cut the crap will ya?" Yelled Greedler as he grabbed Onceler by his collar and raised him up in the air.

"FINE! It's . . . my father . . ." this made Greedler want to laugh, this guy was in love with his father!"

"Haha, well is he at least good looking?" Greedler laughed as he tried to stifle his laughter.

"Of course he is."

" Well me thinks, I should get a look at out good old daddy dearest."

"NO! He can't see you! He knows I have no twin, when he sees you he'll figure something is up."

"Well then I'll just disguise myself as you and well just see what happens from there."

"No wait don't- and as fast as you can say the Lorax's milkshakes bring all the Oncies to the yard, Greedler traded clothes (which were still wet. Gross) with Oncie and walked into the house.


	3. Chapter 3

**Guess who's on a roll! this person is! yay so chapter three, things kinda ensue. ENJOY!**

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Chapter 3

Greedler made his way past the kitchen and inot the living room, which his father was occupying at the moment. As he made his way into the room, he plopped onto one of the sofas and decided to "chat it up" with father dearest.

"So how's it going?" inquired Greedler.

"Hm? Oh its good, yours?" said Onceler's father as he looked up from his newspaper. There was so much awkward tension in the room, it was starting to get weird. So what else could Greedler do than plop on his father's lap!

"W-what are you doing? Get off" Yelled Onceler's dad as he thrashed with the boy on top of him.

" But didn't you used to hold me like this when I was little?"

"Yes, but you're big now, you can't sit on my lap!". Oncler heard all the commotion coming from the other room, but the words were fading out. All he heard was "ahh, you're big now, and sit on my lap" Onceler started to get nervous. HE was the only one who could have sex with HIS father! But he couldn't necessarily go in there naked and wet, so he was forced to stay outside.

"Well tough marshmallows, I'm going to sit on your lap whether you like it or not!" exclaimed Greedler as he ground his butt into his father's lap, making sure it stayed put. However what Greedler felt made him pull back a bit, but father finally pulled him closer.

"I thought you didn't want me on your lap?" questioned Greedler

"I . . . Didn't but now when I'm like this you j-ust have to stay" replied father as he started to literally fuck Greedler's butt cheek. When the noise finally reached Oncie's ears, he had no choice but to storm in naked. When Onceler reached the room, he saw Greedler, still clothed, rocking back and forth a bit above his father, but the faces didn't match up with what was going on here. His father's face was one of ecstacy, while Greedler had his arms folded and his lips in a tight frown, to be honest he looked a bit bored, that is until he saw Onceler stark naked for the entire world to see.

"What the fuck are you guys doing!" yelled Onceler while jumping from leg to leg pulling his hair from his scalp one by one.

"Finally you decided to show up" said Greedler as he pried himself from the father's grip on his hips. He then hopped off and took Onceler into his arms. The father then finally notice he was grinding into nothing but air. The father finally opened his eyes, and saw his son, only two of them, one was naked while the other was wearing Oncie's pjs and groping said naked son. The father was very confused, "what the hey now is going on up in here!" demanded the father. Greedler turned back around and gave an annoyed look.

"What does it look like?" demanded Greedler.

"It looks like my birthday came early!" exclaimed the father. The father then got off of the couch and went up to the twings and tried to hug them. While this was going on Greedler did a cray cray matrix move and somehow made the distance between him and father even wider.

"Don't you dare think about touching me or Oncie ever again!" Yelled Greedler

"But I am _your_ father and you _will _ do as youre told mister! I am you're father right? . . ." asked the father

"No I won't do as I'm told, because you are not my father, you are his father." Said Greedler as he placed Onceler in front of him, in full display of his father. The father then licked his lips and started to get a bit closer. Greedler didn't notice this though , he was just paying attention to how nice Oncie's backside looked from this angle. The father continued to get closer, until he was against Onceler kissing him and moving his hand to his firm buttocks. Greedler then snapped out of it when the view got covered by a certain hand. Greedler looked up in shock as Onceler let his father attack his mouth. Then he snapped out of it and yanked Onceler away, moving his mouth over Onceler's and giving him the sloppiest make out he ever had. The father just stared at the two in shock and horniness. Greedler then stopped and glared daggers at the dad before repeating, "don't you _dare_ think about touching Oncie ever again!" and with that he stormed out of the room with naked Oncie in tow. They stomped up the stairs and reached Onceler's room. He shoved Onceler inside and threw him onto the bed, while he dug through his drawers in search for clothes. When he found them he threw them at Onceler and started his rant.


	4. Chapter 4

**Whoo! Finally posted this chapter! I was off on a road trip, so I had time to actually sit down and write this. Chapter 5 will be up right after this. Unfortunately or fortunately whichever one you choose, chapter 5 will be the last chapter, I hope you all like it! I know I do! ;D**

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Chapter 4

"Do you care to tell me why the fuck you were kissing your father?" Demanded Greedler.

"But he kissed me first." Replied Oncie as he started to put on the clothes handed to him.

"So it doesn't matter you decided to kiss him back!"

"Well you knew I had a crush on my father, so what does it matter to you if I kiss him back or not?"

"Because I have a crush on you stupid!" Onceler froze and processed what he just said.

"Wait, you like me?"

"Well isn't it obvious, I've kissed you so many times since I've met you."

"I thought that was just a distraction!"

"Nope Einstein, it was an actual kiss!" Onceler tried to figure out what Greedler had just said. He LIKED him, but he LOVED his father.

"YOU like ME?" questioned Onceler yet again.

"Yes numbnuts!"

So two people liked him, "awesome" thought Onceler, no one ever liked him before, so he had no idea how to go about this situation. Onceler just started dumbfounded up at Greedler and thought. After a while Greedler got fed up with the silence, "What the fuck are you looking at? Yelled Greedler. Onceler ignored him and continued thinking, 'gosh do I like this guy? I mean he's nothing like my father, but I did always think I looked quite dashing, maybe I DO like him.

Onceler finally made up his mind, he was going to do an "experiment" and see whom he liked more. Since her already kissed his dad he thought he might as well kiss the latter. Onceler walked over to Greedler, grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him into a kiss, their tongues clashing in dominance. Greedlers eyes widened in shock, and after realizing what was happening, shoved Onceler onto his bed and brought him in for another lip lock.

"I should probably stop" thought Onceler as he felt Greedlers tongue reach out to touch his own, and his back hit the soft mattress. Onceler tried to tell Greedler to stop, but it was muffled by the others mouth. Greedler slowly traveled down to his neck leaving kisses everywhere his lips traveled on the descent. It was time for Onceler to speak up.

"G-Greedler, st-ah-p it!"

"Shhh" Replied Greedler as he started to suck and bite at his collarbone while one of his hands moved down his body to where his crotch was.

"No…Please stop!" yelled Onceler.

"Do you really want me to stop?" asked Greedler as he released the others collar bone.

"Yes please!"

"Are you really sure?" and with that Greedler roughly palmed Onceler through his pants. Oncelers eyes grew in the added pressure to that area and his back arched off the bed, "Ahhh!"

"To me it seems like you're really enjoying this. You really don't want me to stop do you?" Onceler gave out a whimper to which Greedler took as a sign to continue with what he was doing. Greedler slowly unbuttoned Oncie's shirt and nipped and sucked at the revealed flesh. He moved his head to his right nipple and bit at the area, then soothing it with a kiss. Oncie's back arched off the bed yet again and he forced himself not to make any noise, lest he wanted his father to hear. Greedler then moved to his left nipple giving it the same treatment and earning a muffled moan. He snickered, Greedler was actually getting to him, but the end of this he would be calling out the others name. Getting a bit bored with just the others torso, he moved down to his pants. His hands hovered over the waistband and eyed him mischievously before grabbing them and pulling them down. Onceler gave out a shriek at this motion and started to feel a bit naked compared to the other who was still wearing all of his clothing. Onceler covered his face with his hands embarrassed at being nearly nude in front of the other, this was bad really bad, this wasn't how things were supposed to go with this other self. His erection was palmed again harder making him lose his train of thought and he pressed his hands closer to his face to muffle his moans he couldn't let his father know what shame was happening in his room.

"Wow" was all Oncelers dad could think as he sat at the kitchen table doing whatever creepy dads, "Wow I have the strangest feeling that something important is happening, but… what is it?" He wracked his brain as he tried to figure out what this odd feeling was, but he couldn't think of anything.

"Hng" Oncie moaned as Greed continued to palm him. He was close. So very close.

"G-Greedler…I…I think I'm gonna-" Greedler stepped away from Onceler, leaving him groaning at the absence.

"W-What are you doing?" Cried Onceler. Greedler smirked and leaned down to kiss Oncie, "We can't finish this quickly." He mumbled against the others lips. With that he moved in again to kiss Oncie, their tongues moving in a fierce dance.

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**Yay off to chapter 5~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay so I was writing this up and all of a sudden pocket full of sunshine came on and I'm like wow it's really over then things got nostalgic! So here's the last chapter of Because I Can. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 5

Their tongues danced in each other's mouths for a good five minutes before Greedler broke away. Onceler gasped and took in as much air as he could, not really paying attention to what the green man was doing. That is until he felt a warm heat wrap around his member bringing it back to hardness. Onceler let out a low moan and gripped the others hair tightly. Greedler smirked at getting the others attention and help down Oncie's hips when he tried to thrust into his mouth.

"Mm mm mm" chided Greedler earning another moan from Onceler.

"Maybe I should go check on the boys" thought the father as he sat at the table lost in thought.

"I wonder what's going on up there…" As if on cue, he heard a loud moan travel through the ceiling to his ear. The father shot up out of his chair and ran up the stairs.

Greedler put a hand on Oncie's mouth after he emitted a fairly loud moan and ground his nails into his cheeks as a warning for next time.

"Shh" said Greedler, "you don't want your daddy to hear you… do you?" Oncie shook his head and tired to quiet his moaning.

"Good" replied Greed as he moved back down to Oncie's member.

The father slowly crept up the stairs and headed down the hall straight for his sons door. He quieted his breathing and put his ear against the door to listen in. All he could hear was whimpering and someone saying "Greed, I-I'm close.." And that was all it took for the father to turn on his parental switch and walk into the room.

The two stopped dead in the their tracks when they heard the door fly open. Onceler looked to the door and immediately tried to cover himself with his hands, while the other just looked really pissed off.

"Can I help you? I was about to get your son off ya know." Said Greedler. Oncie looked at the other and smacked his head after the remark he made. The father hesitantly walked into the room and quickly grabbed his son before running out. All that was left in the room was a surprised Greedler and an echo of a yelp.

The father ran to the other side of the hall to his room and threw his son into his hyper realistic room and locked the hyper realistic door behind them. Oncie quickly grabbed one of the sheets a top the fathers unmade bed and stood there awkwardly with a hard on between his legs. The father spun around and glared at his son.

"Can you please tell me what that was Oncie?" He asked.

"Um, well you see it's kind of a long story." Oncie replied as he hiked the sheet up higher to cover his shoulders.

"Well go ahead and tell me since you'll be staying in here for the night." Oncie's mouth gaped open and was about to protest until he realized that would mean he'd be sleeping in his dad's bed. (Oncie you're such a slut)

"F-Fine… Well it all happened when we kissed Greedler kinda confessed to me that he also had feelings for me. So I did what was best and I kissed him."

"I don't think that was for the best, Oncie" Chided his father.

"Well I just wanted to see who I liked more, I guess. Things just got really out of hand and I didn't mean for them to go that far sorry." Oncie's father stood there silently trying to process what he was just told. It was a good minute before he spoke up, "So who do you like?" Oncie turned red and thought for a bit before answering.

"I really can't decide.." His father was quiet after what he heard, but then he smiled wide.

"I think I know you'll like more." Said the father and with that eh threw Oncie onto bed and pulled off his sheet. Oncie yelped and moved farther onto the bed. His father stood at the edge of the bed and slowly stripped off all his clothes before turning into a millennium falcon and flying into the sky as "Always" played from nowhere. When he reached the moon he turned around and flew back down to earth falling at Mach speeds. Which resulted in him exploding into the ground, which is now known as the Grand Canyon of today. Yes kids, the Grand Canyon is actually the grave of Oncie's father, who had feelings for him and walked in on his doppelganger giving him a blowjob. The only problem was that as he fell to earth he still had the key that unlocked the father door, therefore Oncie died in the room lack of orgasm and also starvation! Greedler was never heard from again, because he became a female stripper at purgatory in Miami. Moo.

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**How did you like ending? You can just tell where I gave up can't you? Well I did think that I was getting too serious so I just made it crack again so the end. I hope you're either mad at me or just love me more because of this XD**


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